


The Diary of Fiona B Smith

by au_revoir_sim1



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Comedy, Diary/Journal, F/M, POV Original Character, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-01
Updated: 2015-02-25
Packaged: 2017-12-16 18:52:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/865414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/au_revoir_sim1/pseuds/au_revoir_sim1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The adventures of a certain fifth year by the name of Fiona Smith. Did I mention she's also hopelessly in love with a certain Remus J. Lupin?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've decided to post this story to my archive of our own account finally! Just a warning, this story's going to be told from the point of view of an original character, so if that's not your thing you probably won't be crazy about it. Hope you enjoy!

**10:00 am:**

Have just boarded the Hogwarts express. Of course I almost missed it again. Mum forgot that today was the first day, and slept in. Then, the curling iron burned my eyelid, and I had to spend several minutes attempting to put an icepack on said burn. By the time we were all in the car we had about five minutes to get to the station. It was a very traumatic morning. Now of course I'm stuck trying to find a compartment. Will write later when I've found a seat.

**10:05 am:**

I've had no luck finding seating with someone I know. I'm now stuck in a compartment with some Slytherin loser named Snerverus or something of that nature, some Hufflepuff third years, and a first year. The tension in here is so thick I could cut it with a knife. A very dull knife at that. Uh oh, the Slytherin's glaring at me.

**10:06 am:**

Still glaring.

**10:07 am:**

Maybe I should go talk to him?

**10:08 am:**

I think he must've read the part where I called him a loser.

Too bad.

**10:09 am:**

The glaring is getting a bit unsettling now. He kind of looks like he'd enjoy watching me suffer greatly.

 **10:10 am:** I

think I'll switch compartments.

**10:15 am:**

Thank goodness. After about five whole minutes of fruitlessly searching for somewhere to sit, I was flagged down by my friend Beatrice, who apparently is quite loud when she wants to be. She managed to gain the attention of practically the whole train just by yelling, "Fi-Fi, there you are!" It's quite embarrassing really; especially when said friend has called you a name that should belong to a cat. I think I've told her about a thousand times to just call me Fiona. Anyway, at least I am now in a compartment with people who don't want to watch me suffer a slow and prolonged death.

I still can't believe how much everyone has changed over the summer. I mean, I guess Beatrice hasn't changed much. She's still the same old Bea. Very short, and very blond, with glasses. Also sharing the compartment are my two other friends, Mel and Eve.

Eve is gorgeous, but also slightly crazy. Up until third year she was your normal run of the mill thirteen-year-old girl. She was really pretty too. She had this really shimmery reddish brown hair that went down to her waist and these really pretty big brown doe eyes. Then, she comes back in fourth year and is completely different. Her hair is now black, and cut in a very punk spiky style, and she has a nose, tongue, and bellybutton piercing. She said that she went through a period of 'enlightenment' and this is who she is now.

Mel is probably the only well rounded normal member of our group (not, or course, including me.) She's sort of that really sweet, all around, girl next-door type. She's got this really straight light brown hair that falls to her shoulders, these bright blue eyes, and is super sporty. I'm quite envious. Her hair cooperates all the time, but she complains that it doesn't have enough volume. Honestly, I would definitely take straight, cooperating hair, over hair that has volume and frizzes every other day.

Ugh Eve and Beatrice are having a row. FOR A CHANGE. I'm not really sure what it is today, I mostly try to block them out. I think Beatrice is trying to give Eve a makeover. Okay trying to focus on something else. Mel is sitting in the corner, reading a book on quidditch. She's lucky enough to actually have hand eye coordination. Mine is nonexistent. I'm quite clumsy really. I tried trying out for the quidditch team in second year, but before I'd even got off the ground I tripped over my broom. Mel, of course, is a chaser. Some people have all the luck. I think we've both decided just to wait this little argument out. They'll get over it eventually. I think maybe I'll take a nap. Will write more later.

**3:00 pm:**

Oh. My. Gosh. I can't believe what just happened!

Okay, I should start from the beginning.

I had just woken up from my nap; Bea and Eve were finally giving it a rest, and guess who walked in?

The Marauders! I know, I can't believe it either.

So James Potter starts going, "Have you seen Severus Snape, more commonly known as Snivellus Snape, the slime ball, that greasy Slytherin git, or all of the above?"

Then we all said, "No," and then Sirius Black started winking at Bea. She started giggling, which annoyed Eve to no end causing her to ask Sirius "Are you quite alright, because you appear to be having a rather serious stroke."

This of course set Beatrice off again, and she started in on Eve. By this time, James Potter, Mel, Sirius Black, that mousy kid that hangs out with them, Remus Lupin, and I were all sort of standing off to the side awkwardly.

Then I went, "Meow," 'cause of their cat fight and all and you will not believe what happened. Remus Lupin smiled. Like he actually found my remark funny. Remus Lupin, the boy I have been completely infatuated with since second year, actually smiled at me. I guess I've never really explained the relationship between Remus and me. Well actually, the nonexistent relationship. The fact that I've been pining over him for years now will probably do nothing to change that.

Still, a smile in my direction is a good start right?

Sort of?

Oh, who am I kidding, he probably doesn't even know I exist. Even if he did know I exist, why would a boy as popular and good looking as Remus, best in the class Remus, Marauder Remus, seventh year Remus, fall for a lowly fifth year such as myself? Not to mention the fact that whenever I'm even near him, normal conversation becomes pretty much impossible.

Anyway, after that, the boys all left pretty quickly. I'm pretty sure they were slightly disturbed by Eve and Bea, who had by now kissed and made up. Then Mel started shooting knowing glances in my directions, until I told her that if she didn't stop, I would tell everyone whom she was secretly crushing on. That stopped her pretty quickly, let me tell you. The thing is, in our little group, Mel is the one I'm closest to. We've been best friends since age seven, and I tell her everything. So she is the only one that knows about my crush on Remus. And I'm the only one who knows about her crush on Sirius. We blackmail each other quite frequently.

Oh. I think we're nearly there. I better go change. More later.


	2. Chapter 2

**6:00 pm:**

Well, we've finally arrived at Hogwarts. Back for another year of mischief and magic. Well probably only magic, seeing as I'm a stickler for the rules. Right now we're just waiting for the first years to arrive so the sorting can finally begin. It's quite boring really, especially when you're starving. Seeing as I barely managed to get out of the house this morning, I didn't exactly have time for breakfast, and the food trolley came while I was sleeping. Oh dear. I've just looked over at the Slytherin table and it appears the loser from the train has decided to hold a grudge.

It's quite creepy really.

Please stop staring scary loser seventh year Slytherin.

Please.

Maybe I should report him to Dumbledore?

This could be considered harassment, it really could.

Maybe I just won't look over there from now on.

It's not that I feel threatened or scared by him it's just that . . . who am I kidding, of course I feel threatened and scared. I have to be the quietest most timid Gryffindor I know. No wonder the hat considered putting me in Hufflepuff.

**6:05 pm:**

Well this is boring. Nothing to do really. Eve and Bea are fighting for a change; I think this time debating which is better, the treacle tart or sticky toffee pudding. Mel is chatting with some Ravenclaws over at another table. That's another thing about Mel. She's incredibly popular, even girls from other houses love her. Maybe one of the first years fell in the lake again. That would be kind of cool.

**6:10 pm:**

I am starving! I don't know if I'll be able to last five more minutes without food. I wonder what Remus is doing.

Grr. He's talking to that seventh year Elizabeth Perkins. Elizabeth Perkins happens to be everything that I'm not. It stinks. She has gorgeous blond hair that never frizzes. She's a chaser for the Gryffindor quidditch team. She's super outgoing and popular. She's supermodel tall and skinny, and she also happens to be a prefect. Life is so unfair. I am none of these things. My plain brown hair frizzes with the slightest hint of humidity, I barely top five foot five, and I only have three friends. Seriously. Eve, Bea, and Mel are the only people I ever talk to. It's kind of embarrassing really, the fact that I'm such a social outcast.

Oh, great. Now they're both laughing. Why is it that some blond bimbo can make kind, sweet, sensitive, Remus laugh? I bet he doesn't really like her. He's probably just humoring her and trying to be nice.

Mel has just looked over at me all knowingly and is going, "Denial isn't just a river in Egypt Fiona." I can't believe she's reading what I'm writing. It's really rude. Still, I suppose she's right. I am hopelessly in denial. Remus Lupin doesn't even know my name.

Finally, it seems as though the first years appear to be arriving. About time too.

**9:00 pm:**

Well, the feast is finally over, obviously, and I can hardly move a muscle. I don't remember the last time I've ever eaten that much, and believe me, that's saying something. I barely managed the trek up the stairs to the common room. This matter was made even worse by the fact that I was also quite sick to my stomach, having just spent the entire evening watching Elizabeth Perkins shamelessly flirting with Remus. I honestly want to cry to just writing about it. Maybe I should listen to some positive music to make me feel better. You know, like Mr. Blue Sky by Electric Light Orchestra. I realize that it's muggle music, but for some reason it always makes me feel all good inside. I'd better get some sleep. I've got an early morning tomorrow.

**September 2nd**

**9:30 am:**

Well that was stressful! I could barely sleep a wink last night and as a result managed to sleep in, seeing as none of my friends felt as though it might be nice to wake me up. I've just barely made it to Transfiguration on time, and I had to skip breakfast in order to do so. I'm just glad I wasn't late. McGonagall would have surely given me a detention.

Oh dear, this is terribly boring. I already read all my books over the summer, so none of this is exactly new. I wish we had class with the seventh years. I'm positive it would be much more fun to gaze at Remus than to sit here and listen to McGonagall drone on and on about Animagi.

I'm awfully tired. I wonder if Professor McGonagall would mind it very much if I dosed off for a bit. She probably won't even notice.

**9:45 am:**

Oh my, that was terribly embarrassing. I had gone down for my mini power nap when the next thing I knew McGonagall was calling my name. Still being in my half awake state I sort of blurted the first thing that came to mind, which just happened to be a very loud, "Remus!" which in turn caused the whole class to erupt in a fit of laughter. Then McGonagall just sort of blinked at me, and her lips got very thin and she sort of looked at me in a very disappointed way, you know, the look that only teachers can manage to pull off. I just pray that no one informs Remus of my little outburst. Just in case I have decided to cross off all of the, Mrs. Remus Lupin's on the cover of my notebook.

I think I will pay more close attention in class from now on.

**10:15 am:**

Well, class is finally over thank goodness. Wait a minute. Why does McGonagall want me to come speak with her and the headmaster? It can't be about the Lupin incident, can it? I'd better hurry, she looks pretty grave.

**10:30 am:**

Wow. That was . . . unexpected to say the least. Let me start from the beginning. So at the end of class, I was gathering my books and things when McGonagall goes, "Ms. Smith, could you come with me for a moment. The headmaster and I have something we would like to discuss with you." So then of course, I start freaking out. I mean, it's only the first day and I'm already headed to Dumbledore's office? Anyway, eventually we made it to Dumbledore's office, and he was all nice and smiling and all, and went, "Ms. Smith, please sit down," and pointed to a very comfy looking armchair. Then McGonagall sat down across from me, next to Dumbledore, and to be honest at that moment it felt very much like an intervention. We sort of sat there in that very awkward silence for a few moments before Dumbledore cleared his throat and began to speak. "It has come to my attention, Ms. Smith, that you have been continually bored in your classes last year, as well as this year apparently." I blushed, remembering my little power nap in Transfiguration earlier. From there on McGonagall took over.

"What the Headmaster is trying to say Ms. Smith, is that we really think you would benefit from a more advanced class. Seeing as the sixth year class is already full, we have decided to put you into the seventh year transfiguration class, with your consent that is."

I sort of sat there in shock for a few moments. Then I sort of remembered how to use my mouth again. "Um, yeah sure, that sounds great." Honestly it's not like I really had a choice. They were giving me the patented teacher We-really-think-you-should-take-advantage-of-this-oppurtunity-so-you-can't-really-say-no look. It was very convincing. So then they both smiled at me in a very creepy I'm-proud-of-you kind of way, and sent me off to second period with a late note. Which is where I am now, scribbling this all down. Honestly, it's not like I have to pay attention in History of Magic anyway.

**10:50 am:**

Oh my gosh! I've just realized something. I'm going to be with Remus in Transfiguration from now on. Thank you McGonagall and Dumbledore!

 


	3. Chapter 3

**3:00 pm:**

Finally! The day is over! I swear, it was probably the longest first day ever! Of course, that's probably due to the fact that I couldn't stop obsessing over the fact that tomorrow I'm going to be in class with Remus Lupin! He might finally know my name. Of course that also means I'll be in class with Elizabeth Perkins, which sucks. Seriously. I hate to say this but she's kind of a witch with a B. That's another thing about me. I hate cursing. Even when I'm just writing the curse word.

Anyway, I've only talked to her all of two times, and from just those two times I've gotten the impression that she's a shallow, patronizing, annoying, crush-stealing, evil person. Okay, so the crush-stealing thing I just made up. There wasn't really a way to tell that just from talking with her. But still, the other stuff is true. Once, when I was late for a class last year she totally thought I was cutting and took me straight to McGonagall. Then, when I explained that I wasn't cutting class, I had just lost my way a bit, she totally started treating me like I was freaking five years old and followed me all the way to said class. But she was totally mean about it. I mean, I guess she was nice, but in that totally fake nice kind of way. Still, she did fool McGonagall. It's really criminal how people like that can manage to have a teacher thinking they're the nicest girls in school, it really is. I almost feel bad for the teachers, being so naïve and all.

Oh no, I hope I don't have to sit next to her. Or do projects with her. That would be awful! She seems like the type of person that would not let you speak at all during a presentation. Yes, that would be pretty awful. Honestly, I don't see what guys find so attractive. I mean, I guess she's pretty and all, and tall, and she has a cool accent, (she moved here from Australia when she was ten, and I guess the accent stuck,) but when you get past all that she's not really a very nice person. I also don't see why a person like that has to steal Remus. Seriously, she's probably the most popular girl in school, with the exception of Lily Evans, and she could get any guy she wants, but she has to go for the quietest Marauder, (not counting that short tubby kid that always hangs out with them. Pablo? Parker?)

Still, I'm sort of glad she's not going for Sirius. Mel is completely in love with him. She has been since about second year, since he accidently bumped into her on his way to class. I suppose if I have to sacrifice my crush for Mel's, I will. After all, we're practically sisters. Blood sisters, that is. When we were eight years old, we pricked our fingers and did that blood-mixing thing. That was before I knew about HIV/AIDS and stuff. Believe me, if I had known back then, there would be no chance in hell that I was getting my blood anywhere near anyone else's.

The point is, I would do anything for Mel. Speaking of Mel, I wonder where she, Bea and Eve are. Right now I'm in the common room, and I kind of figured they'd meet me here. Oh well, more time to write I guess.

Oh, the portrait hole just opened up, maybe that's them.

Okay, that is not Mel, Eve and Bea. Those look a lot like the Marauders! Okay, so they are the Marauders. Still, I want to make this account of my life seem exciting, and writing stuff like that seems more interesting than, 'The Marauders just walked in.' Now that I think about it, it doesn't really make much difference.

Oh no, they're coming closer. Please don't sit near me, I don't think I can take it.

Great. They have decided to sit down on the couch across from my armchair. It appears that I have suddenly become invisible, seeing as none of them have even glanced in my direction. Hmm, this might get interesting. Hold on. If I can angle my chair just so.

Ha! I have now arranged myself so that the back of the chair is facing them. If I huddle down just so, they won't be able to see me. Let the eavesdropping commence.

"I can't believe Slughorn gave me a zero on that potion. It wasn't  _that_  bad." That sounded like Sirius.

"Come on Padfoot, you burned a giant hole in the floor." That had to be James.

"You all set for Saturday night? I know  _I_  can't wait." Sirius again.

"Contrary to popular belief, Sirius, I don't actually enjoy those nights as much as the rest of you do." That was Remus! His voice is just so wonderful. It's all calming and nice and everything else good. I could sit here all day and listen to Remus speak.

"Oh come on Moony, you know we're just kidding." James.

"Well the matter sort of becomes less funny when you've got to go through excruciating pain once a month." Wait, what? What is Remus talking about? What does he mean excruciating pain once a month? This makes no sense. Come on Marauders, talk some more.

"This is boring. Let's go try out that new jinx I've been working on. I think Snivellus would do well as a guinea pig." That was James again. Come on! Don't talk about curses, I want to hear more about his once a month thing.

Oh no! They're leaving. Please don't leave. Please. Oh, well too late. Perhaps I should go outside too. Try to find Eve, Bea, and Mel. More later. I must try to figure out this mysterious once a month issue.

**September 3** **rd**

**2:00 am:**

Oh, my, gosh, I cannot sleep! This is so frustrating! Why is it that when I have to wake in the morning I'm always exhausted, but when it's the middle of the night, (very early morning now, I guess,) I'm unable to fall asleep at all. It's probably because I can't stop stressing over Transfiguration. I'm so excited! Seriously, I can't wait! It's like when I was five years old, and couldn't sleep on Christmas Eve 'cause I was waiting for Santa Claus.

I can't calm my nerves at all.

Maybe I should go down to the kitchens for some chamomile tea.

Now that I think about it, some tea sounds pretty good right now.

Still, it  _is_ two in the morning. That might pose a bit of a problem.

Aw, screw it, I'm going.

**2:10 am:**

Well, I'm finally out of the Gryffindor tower.

I hope no one catches me.

Oh gosh, what if someone does catch me?

I wonder if I'll get detention.

I've never gotten a detention before.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

Oh no, someone's coming.

Never mind, false alarm, it was just someone's cat.

Well, I guess it's too late to turn back now, I'm nearly there. Just down this corridor here.

Ha, ha! I made it! I made it and nobody discovered me! I have the strange urge to break into a victory dance.

Oh dear. I've forgotten how to get in. This does appear to be a problem.

Come on brain, think. I realize that it's two in the morning, but try to remember.

You know, I think it's kind of a bad thing when one starts having conversations with one's brain.

Come on, there is no way that I just walked all the way over here, (nearly having a coronary over a  _cat_  in the process) just to walk back. It's not happening.

Maybe it has something to do with the portrait.

Wait a minute, I got it! The pear! All you have to do is tickle the pear! I am so mentally challenged that it scares me sometimes.

Here we go, tickle the pear and . . . ha, ha, I'm in.

Wait a minute.

There's someone in here who is definitely not a house elf.

That looks a lot like . . . oh my gosh that's Remus Lupin.

 


	4. Chapter 4

2:10 am:

Oh, my, gosh. OH MY GOSH! Why is Remus Lupin down in the kitchens? I just know I'm totally going to embarrass myself in front of him. Why oh why did I choose to wear my snoopy pajamas? You know, maybe it isn't too late. Maybe he hasn't seen me. Maybe if I just back quietly out through the portrait hole, he won't even notice that I came in here. Maybe- Oh no. I've been spotted.

Why do the house elves have to be so loveable? Why? I usually appreciate it, but why today of all days do they have to come running over yelling, "Ms. Smith, Ms. Smith, we have been missing you!" It's not like Remus can ignore something like that. Oh gosh, what if he gives me a detention? Mum would kill me if she found out that I got a detention, and on the first day too. Oh no, he's looking at me now. I'd better close this diary and try to sort this out. I promise I'll write more later on. Gtg.

3:00 am:

Oh. Wow. That was . . . amazing! I guess I'll start from where I left off. So, the house elves had just revealed the fact that I was in the kitchens, (thanks for that, house elves, thanks a lot,) Remus looked up at me and he looked sort of surprised and all, because honestly, who would really expect to find another person in the kitchens at two something in the morning?

Anyway, Remus looks up at me and goes, "What exactly are you doing here? You do know that it is after curfew and you are outside of your dormitory. I'm going to have to give you a detention, and maybe even take this to McGonagall."

Well then I proceeded to freak out. I'm pretty sure my face turned bright red and my throat sort of did that thing where it feels as though it's closing up and you can't breathe. Then I'm pretty sure I started crying because really? It was two in the morning, I was incredibly stressed about my transfiguration class tomorrow, and then the guy that I had an enormous crush on had just threatened to get me in trouble with McGonagall.

By that time, I'm pretty sure that Remus was convinced I was some kind of loony or something, because he started going, "Hey, hey, hey, it's Fat Albert!" I'm just kidding, he didn't say that, but I honestly couldn't resist. Anyway, what he really said was, "Hey, hey, hey, I was just kidding, please don't cry. I'm not really going to give you a detention. I'm out of bed at two in the morning too you know."

I was still kind of blubbering at that point, so Remus kind of pointed to this chair next to his and called over a house elf and asked for some chamomile tea. So by this point, it was incredibly awkward. Remus was just sort of sitting next to me, and I was sitting there sniffling, (pathetic, I know.) I guess Remus was trying to get rid of the tension, because he started talking to me again.

"So, what brings you to the kitchens at two in the morning?"

"I couldn't sleep." He sort of nodded at this.

"Me too. It appears I have a rather bad case of insomnia tonight."

After that, it got kind of awkward again. It was the kind of silence where in the fourth grade some kid would start doing that awkward turtle thing.

I guess Remus was trying to alleviate the awkwardness in the room or something, because he started asking me questions again.

"So I don't mean to be rude or anything, but I'm afraid I don't know you name." This had kind of startled me. It probably shouldn't have, considering the fact that we'd never actually spoken before. Still, it seemed as though seeing as I knew his name, it seemed strange he hardly was aware of my existence.

"Um, Fiona, Fiona Smith."

"That's a nice name. My name's Remus. Remus Lupin." I had known that of course. Still I wasn't about to start going, "Oh, I know that already. I know so much about you Remus." Because that totally wouldn't be creepy at all. Yeah. Anyway then Remus sort of looked at me funny and went, "Wait a minute, are you fifth year Fiona Smith?"

Then I went, "Yeah."

So he went, "The fifth year Fiona Smith who's currently transferring to the seventh year transfiguration class?"

Then I went, "Um . . . yeah," again, because a few second ago he was all, "Oh I'm Remus Lupin, I'm so naïve, I don't anything about Fiona Smith," and then practically a minute later he's all, "Fiona Smith, I know practically everything about you."

So then he got really excited and he started going, "Oh McGonagall told me all about you. You're switching to my transfiguration class. I'm supposed to help you catch up." So then I went, "Cool." Cool. I know. I couldn't think of anything better to say. It's quite sad really. I really did used to think that I had a rather sizeable vocabulary. Oh well, I guess not.

So then my tea came, and everything was a lot less awkward. Remus kept going on about how great transfiguration was this year, and how I wouldn't be that far behind. Then we started planning study sessions. I've now got one with him in two days in the library. I'm so excited! We get along so well, too. It's incredible. After that whole period of awkwardness, it was really easy to talk, and even when there were silences, they definitely weren't as awkward.

Anyway, after a while we sort of looked at the clock and realized that if we didn't get to bed we weren't going to be able to get up in the morning.

So we ran back to the Gryffindor tower together, and that's where I am now, in the dormitory, writing all of this down. Of course that whole excursion with Remus means I definitely won't be getting any sleep at all any time soon. Oh well, I can always have coffee in the morning. Goodbye for now!

8:00 am:

Ugh. Why ever did I stay up so late last night? I'm exhausted! I could barely drag myself out of bed this morning! Not to mention the fact that the day my roommates finally decide to wake me up on time they just happen to do it at six o clock in the morning! The thing is, then they were all mystified as to why I was so cranky. Seriously? Well, okay I can kind of be pretty nasty when people wake me up. According to Mel, I yelled at her in this kind of demon voice. But hey, whatever. I never said I'm a morning person.

Anyway, I'm now down in the great hall trying to ingest some sort of nutrients before transfiguration class. Honestly, it's pretty hard. I feel kind of like I might hurl at any moment; not a good feeling trust me. Actually, I was thinking of going to class early just so I don't have to listen to Mel blab on and on about how me getting switched to Remus' transfiguration class was fate or destiny or some *ahem* baloney like that.

Oh dear, now she's responding to everything I write with some smart aleck comment. Thanks a lot Mel.

Mel, I swear to Merlin, if you don't stop looking over my shoulder I'll tell everyone, including the object of your affections, about your little crush on Sirius Black. Oh, no little quip? Ha, ha, I win.

See, that's the problem with waking me up too early. I turn into a complete monster that's obsessed with incredibly stupid things. Quite sad really.

Anyway, for once, Beatrice and Eve, who are usually in a heated argument by now are paying attention to the things going on around them. It's quite an unusual occurrence someone should alert the media.

Oh, this is just great. Eve now feels the need to tell me that she feels within her heart, (and her inner eye) that a relationship between Remus and I would be a match made in heaven. Thank you Eve, for your wonderful advice. Even though it isn't actually advice, just her stating her opinion. Also, did I forget to mention that Eve has become obsessed with Divination over the summer? She learned it from some French boy she dated in June. (They broke up in July. Good thing too. He was super creepy. He's the kind of guy, that if you saw him, you would so cross the street just so you wouldn't have to come within a five foot radius of his weirdness.

Anyhoo, (did I really just write that? Never ever again will I use that word. Ever. It must be the lack of sleep.) class is about to start, so I suppose I better get going. I'm going to have to borrow a book from McGonagall. Fun.

Oh. Great. Bea has decided to make it her personal mission to walk me to class. I've tried explaining to her that there is really no reason for this, seeing as if she walks me to class, this will in turn make her late to her own class, but she has become mysteriously deaf whenever I bring up the subject. I'm so sure.

Oh, my, gosh, I wish Beatrice would shut up about that stupid Hufflepuff boy, Diggory or something. To be honest I don't really care about how swoon worthy his eyes are. I also didn't care the first thirty times she mentioned them this morning alone.

Really? Really Bea? Are you really going to talk about Diggory the whole morning? You don't see me talking about Remus 24/7, however much I'd like to. Whatever.

Finally! We are at the classroom. I wasn't sure if I would make it. It was truly a journey of epic proportions.

Well, here goes. I really hope I don't have to sit next to someone mean. Maybe I can sit next to Remus!

Okay. I can do this. Deep yoga breath in. Deep yoga breath out. I could so use a paper bag right about now. Opening the door. I'm not afraid. I'm so not afraid.

Great, thanks Bea, for totally pushing me in here. I've just made a complete and utter fool of myself. Oh. Everyone's already here. Well this is awkward.

A/N: Uh oh! Awkward! I'll try to post the next chapter later today/tomorrow :)


	5. Chapter 5

9:45 am:

Well. Wow. That was hard. I don't think I've ever been that challenged by a class before. I don't really think I like it. I'm actually pretty sure that I'm going to fail by the end of the first semester. It probably didn't help that I was staring at Remus too much to actually pay attention to the lesson. I should probably start from where I left off.

So, there I was standing in that room. I really should get back at Beatrice for the whole being pushed into the room thing. Anyway, I was standing in the front of the room with pretty much everyone's eyes on me. The only person who wasn't staring was some kid who looked kind of like a homeless guy half-asleep in the corner. I shifted nervously. Shouldn't McGonagall be doing something to alleviate the tension? She is a teacher after all.

After a few more moments of complete awkwardness McGonagall finally came to her senses. "Class, this is Fiona Smith. She is new to this class, so I expect you to be nice." Oh dear. Why did she have to say that? That's really just asking for everyone to point and laugh. And any thoughts of making new friends in this class have just flown out the window. Then, just when I was about to slink off to find an empty seat somewhere Professor McGonagall went and opened her big mouth again. Oh dear. Did I really just write something bad about a professor? I hope she doesn't find this anytime soon. Anyway, there I was minding my own business already humiliated by the fact that I had just burst into the middle of the classroom when McGonagall goes, "Why don't you tell the class a little bit about yourself Ms. Smith."

Really Professor? Seriously? Since when did you become the stereotypical muggle high school teacher? I thought that you were cool. I thought that at least you wouldn't stoop as low. She must hate me. She really must. I can't really imagine what I've done to deserve that though. Maybe it's a higher power. I did stop praying every night when I was about six. Maybe I should start that up again.

So, there I was, standing there in the middle of the classroom trying to come up with the something to say that would appease McGonagall, as well as stop me from making a total fool of myself in front of my new classmates. Oh dear. Why was that so hard? I don't even know what was stumping me. I should've just said something stupid like, "Hi, my name is Fiona, and my favorite flavor of ice cream is butter pecan." Completely bland yet also completely normal. Nothing to really make fun of there.

Being me though, I ended up standing there for a super long time just sort of doing nothing. That is I stood there doing that until I heard some random voice call out, "Are you sure she belongs in this class? She seems kind of slow if you know what I mean." And you know what? I know exactly who did it too. She thought she was being all cool and stuff and that no saw her, but Elizabeth Perkins was sitting in the front row. That made it pretty easy to see her.

That didn't exactly stop the class from laughing though. What I'd really like to know though is where McGonagall was during all of this. A teacher should really be the person to be mediating all this kind of stuff. The annoying part is she was sitting there in the corner smirking. The comment wasn't even that funny. I could make a funny comment like that if I wanted to. Which I don't. But if I could I so would. I'm incredibly funny. I should probably get someone to help me with my denial problems.

Anyway when I did open my mouth to say something incredibly witty and hilarious back to her I just sort of . . . well, hiccupped. The embarrassing thing is I couldn't stop. All I managed to say to McGonagall was, "I need some water be right back," before I ran out of the room. I couldn't tell, but I'm pretty sure as soon as the door closed they all started laughing again.

After a five-minute water break I managed to get myself under control and back to the classroom. I then of course had to face my classmates again. My only seat choices pretty much sucked. There was the homeless kid in the corner, or Sirius Black. How he ended up alone I have no idea. That boy is usually swarmed by an entire entourage of girls.

Hmm. Who to sit with? The school womanizer or the school hobo? Decisions, decisions.

In the end I chose Black. Honestly at least I won't have to worry about him drooling all over my desk. Plus, I knew that Mel would absolutely kill me if she found that I had been given a chance to sit next to Sirius Black and hadn't taken it.

It really wasn't that bad actually. Here's the conversation as I remember it:

Black: "The name's Black. Sirius Black. But you can call me Sirius."

Me: "Sirius, let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested."

Sirius: "Oh."

*moment of awkward silence*

Sirius: "So, do you have any friends you might want to introduce me to?"

At this point McGonagall finally decided to do her job and told us to shut up. Sirius actually isn't that bad though. Once you get past the fact that he's almost constantly hitting on someone he's a pretty nice guy.

Anyway, it was pretty hard to concentrate on the lesson due to the fact that Elizabeth Perkins insisted on whispering to Lupin the entire class. Honestly, what up with that? Seriously McGonagall? They were in the front row, and you couldn't catch her in the act?

I think we were supposed to be learning something super advanced, like the theory behind how transfiguration works or something like that. Honestly, as long as you know how to transfigure the stuff or whatever, what is the big deal? It's like when I went to a muggle school and they tried to make us understand what exactly we were doing in math to get to the answer. News flash guys. It doesn't matter as long as you get the right answer.

Now I'm sitting in my free trying to work on an essay due in tow days talking about what I've supposed to have been learning in class. Yeah. This is going to turn out perfectly.

12:00 pm:

Ugh. I can't believe it's already lunchtime and I still haven't even thought about starting the essay. I am so screwed. Oh I am so glad that Bea has made it her business to read over my shoulder that everything I'm writing. Thank you Beatrice. That's my best friend everybody!

Whatever, I've gotta book. I've got another free and I'm using all my time to go try to research this thing in the library.

7:00 pm:

Oh. My. Gosh. I've spent the entire day researching this thing and I've made no progress what so ever. This is so depressing. I'm going to fail. I'm going to fail and my parents are going to hate me. I can't believe this. Oh, my, gosh. I think I'm going to cry. Oh gosh. I can't fail. I just don't understand. Why does it matter how you turn a teacup into a mouse? Why?

Oh great. Now I'm sitting here crying in the Library. This is super mature Fiona. Maybe I can ask McGonagall for an extension. Maybe . . . maybe . . . maybe-

Oh, who am I kidding? I may as well quit the class now.

Wait a minute. Are those footsteps? Damn. Someone's heard me crying. Great. Just great. Just what I need right now. Some nosy student poking their nose in someone else's business.

Hold on. Is that . . . okay it can't be. No way is Remus Lupin currently walking over to where I am currently wallowing in my misery. No way. Holy crap. It's really him. Great. This is really great. It's the second time I'm talking to him and both times I've been crying.

He probably thinks I'm emotionally unstable or something.

Oh gosh he's talking to me. I should probably pay attention.

Remus: "Hey, you're that girl from my transfiguration class, Fiona, right? Are you okay?"

Okay, he just asked me a question. Why is it that I can't seem to respond? Come on Fiona just spit out any random answer. Now he's going to think I'm mentally challenged as well as emotionally unstable. Great.

Me: "Um, nothing."

Remus: "It doesn't look like nothing."

Oh, my, gosh that is so sweet! He really cares. You know, he is such a nice person. Really, no other boys would care that much. Maybe I should tell him what's wrong. He might be able to help me. And I really don't want to have this conversation with McGonagall. But then he might think I'm an idiot. This sucks!

Me: "Um, it's just that we have this huge essay due and I have no idea what the material is at all and I'm going to fail and McGonagall's going to kick me out of her class and my parents are going to hate me and-"

Remus: "Whoa, whoa, whoa slow down. I highly doubt that McGonagall's going to kick you out of her class. And if you're having trouble with the essay, I could help you."

What did he just say? I think I just heard Remus Lupin offer to help me. Me. Fiona. Fiona B. Smith. Fiona loser fifth year Smith. I can't believe it! Okay, okay Fiona get yourself under control. You are not going to start freaking out over this. You cannot let Remus see how excited you are about this. Act calm. Natural. Suave.

Me: "Ah, sure, that would be really great! Thank you so much!"

Good job Fiona. Way to be suave. Totally not pathetic.

Remus: "Okay. Cool. I don't have anything to do right now so if you want to we could start now."

Me: "Oh yeah sure, whatever you want."

Remus: "Okay, well why don't you start by telling me what you're having trouble with."

Okay. I better go. Will write more later. Definitely.


	6. Chapter 6

10:00 pm:

Thank. The. Lord. I finally understand Transfiguration now. I swear to god, if it wasn't for Remus and his tutorage I would be completely lost. The best part is, as I become more adroit (I heard Remus use it which therefore makes it my new favorite word) at Transfiguration theory while at the same time spending time with Remus. It's a win, win situation. And he was so great about it. Even when I acted like a total brain dead moron he was so nice and patient. But then Sirius and James and Peter came in and were all, "Come on Remus, lets go hang out." And him being the incredibly nice (if a bit passive) person he is he left me. But that's alright. At least I understand Transfiguration now.

Anyway, I'm on my way back to the common room now. I know, I know, writing in a journal isn't exactly the best thing to do, especially when you're walking up stairs that seem to find it amusing to constantly move about. I just had to write this down. I'd feel guilty if I didn't. After all, I did get this journal just so I could write about my life, (no matter how boring it may be). And later on in life when Remus and I are happily married, it will be great fun to look back at this journal reminiscing about our young love together. Sigh.

Okay, okay, I realize that's not ever gonna happen. I also realize that that fantasy was slightly creepy, especially if you're Remus. But seriously? I girl can dream. Especially a girl who's never even had a boyfriend. That's right. I'm fifteen years old and I've never had a boyfriend. It sucks. I know this may sound conceited, but come on! I'm not that bad looking! Even Nelly Collins has a boyfriend, and not to be mean (actually, I am kind of trying to be mean, she's gotta be the biggest witch with a B I've ever met. Plus she's a Slytherin.) Oh god. Did I just say that? That's awful. I'm not an awful person, am I? Oh god, I'm turning into a Slytherin. This is awful. This is really bad.

Hold on. What am I saying? Have I gone mental? I swear to god, even my own mood swings are giving me whiplash these days. Ugh. Whoever said that teenage years were the best years of their life never fully appreciated naptime.

Why are there so many steps! I swear, I should be up in that common room by now. And it's not just 'cause I'm lazy. Okay, I'm a little lazy. Okay fine! I'm lazy. But this is still an incredibly large amount of stairs to climb up. They should install some of those muggle things . . . what're they called? Elefairs? Éclairs? Oh! Elevators.

Yeah. That would make my life easier. Then again, that's probably why all those muggles are so fat. Yeah, on second thought the stairs are just fine. Bring on the stairs. I love stairs. They're great. Really. Yeah stairs. You're doing a great job. Keep up the good work my friends.

Oh god, I really have gone mental. Mental note; Must. Stop. Talking. To. Stairs. OK. Got that out of my system.

Ha! Ha, ha, ha! I did it. I finally made it up to the common room! I DID IT!

Okay. I've looked back on my writing and have realized that might've sounded a bit crazy. I'm sorry to whoever's decided to read this in the future. It was not my intention to sound like a homicidal maniac. That is all.

Anyway, time to get in the common room.

Oh sugar smacks! (You may be wondering why I chose to say sugar smacks instead of a harsher, better known word. Well then you're stupid. Because I clearly remember writing a little ways back that I don't like to curse. Keep up, will you?)

I realize that I just talked to a journal like it was a real person with thoughts and feelings. Don't worry; I'm checking myself back into the mental institution soon.

Okay. Here we go. What does she mean that's not the password? That lazy cow! All she does is loll around in that portrait all day; the least she could do is inform me of the new password. But I guess she can't. Thanks a lot.

NOW I'M STUCK OUT HERE! I don't wanna be up here. Up here sucks! I'll look like a complete moron. THANK YOU FAT LADY!

Oh god. Now I feel bad. Now I feel like an awful, awful person. The fat lady has been nothing but nice to me. Ever since I came here as an eleven year old young 'un. And it's not her fault if she has an impulse control problem. Just like it's not my fault that I suck at sports. We were born this way. Ha, ha. Muggle song reference. Wait a minute. Is that . . .?

11:30 pm:

Sorry for leaving so abruptly. That was Sirius. Just being a pain in my a- . . . um behind. Anyway here is a recount of our encounter.

Sirius: "Hey there."

Me: "Jesus Christ!"

Sirius: "What is wrong with you?"

Me: (indignantly) "There happens to be nothing wrong with me, you just scared me that's all. You were all lurking and stuff. Like Filch."

Sirius: "I am in no way at all like Filch. I'm too hot."

Me: "What exactly do you want Sirius? 'Cause I have much better things to be doing. Like watching paint dry."

Sirius: "Okay, okay don't get your knickers in a twist. I'm just coming back to the common room. Seeing as my dorm is in there. Seeing as I'm a Gryffindor."

Me: (by now feeling like a complete idiot) "Oh."

Sirius: "Now if you'll just let me say the pass- Wait a minute. What's that? Is that diary? Does wittle Fi-Fi have a diary?" (Erupting into loud guffaws) "Oh that is just too good. Lemme see!"

Me: "No!"

Sirius: "C'mon Fi-Fi gimme that journal!"

Me: "Hell no!"

(A furious tussle ensues, in which Sirius emerges victorious.)

Me: "Sirius! Give that back!"

Sirius: "No thanks. I think I might take a peek."

Me: "C'mon Sirius, give it back!"

(Sirius by now is flipping through the journal to a random page.)

Sirius: "Oh ho! Look at this. Remus Lupin smiled. Like he actually found my remark funny. Remus Lupin, the boy I have been completely infatuated with since second year, actually smiled at me. I guess I've never really explained the relationship between Remus and me. Well actually, the nonexistent relationship. The fact that I've been pining over him for years now will probably do nothing to change that. Well, well, well what do we have here? Looks like someone's got a little crush."

Me: (beginning to panic) "Sirius! Stop it!"

Remus: (appearing as if out of thin air) "Stop what? What's going on?"

Me: "What? Where did you come from? I mean, nothing! We weren't talking about anything. At all. Nothing. Nothing going on here! Yeah. So feel free to be on your way."

Sirius: (winking) "Yeah, don't worry about us Remus. I was just, um. Asking Fi-Fi here about her incredibly hot as well as single friend. Marcy.

Me: (hissing under breath) "It's Mel, smart one."

Sirius: "Now, now Fi-Fi, you really shouldn't be so cruel to me. After all, I might give away all your deep dark secrets!"

Remus: "Okaaay? I'm gonna go."

Sirius: (still laughing over his previous joke) "Bye Remmy! Have fun!"

Me: (Once Remus is gone) "You are incredibly immature, you know that?"

Sirius: "But that's why you love me!"

Me: (completely deadpan) "Yeah, I don't really love you."

(A long awkward pause)

Me: "Please don't tell him Sirius. Please. I'll do anything. Just don't tell him."

Sirius: "Anything? You'll do anything for me? Anything?"

Me: "Yeah, sure, anything."

Sirius: "You'll do anything?"

Me: "I believe I just said that. I could . . . um . . . help you with your homework. I could . . . um. Oh! I know! I could do your Herbology essay for you."

Sirius: (Shaking his head in exasperation) "For the love of all that is holy love, do you not know when you're being sexually harassed?"

(You know, looking back on it now, he did seem very suggestive, but at the moment I was too concerned with making sure that at all costs I prevented him from telling Remus.)

Me: "Oh. Well . . . don't call me love! I'm not anyone's love, least of all yours!"

Sirius: "Oh that's right. But you would like to be Remus' love, wouldn't you?"

Me: "Sirius! For the love of James Potter and Lily Evans please don't tell him."

Sirius: "Fine. But you owe me one. And wait a minute, how do you know about James and Lily dating?"

Me: "Really Sirius? I know that I may seem as though I'm a complete social leper, but James and Lily's fights have been the big deal around here for the past six years. Them going out was the biggest thing since Reese's Peanut Cups."

(Awkward Silence ensues)

Me: (seeing Sirius' blank look) "Sorry, muggle candy. Look; I've gotta go but I don't know the password sooo . . ."

Sirius: "Oh yeah, sure, no problem."

And that's it. I just pray to the lord that he doesn't breath a word of what he read. OK. Might as well get some sleep. Will write more in morning!

8:00 am:

Oh god. Whoever invented mornings should be killed. I swear. Why is it necessary to wake up at 7:00 am every morning? I would be fine with a longer school day if I could just sleep in. I like sleep. Sleep is good. When I don't get my sleep, bad things tend to happen. Take this morning for instance. First off, Beatrice and Eve and will not stop bickering. It is driving me insane! From what I can tell, Bea's still upset about the whole Sirius-having-a-stroke debacle. It can't really help that Eve decided to call him an 'unproductive womanizing man whore with absolutely no positive contribution to society.'

Also, Mel is sick. I know. The traitor! She's now left me all alone with Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum, who can't seem to shut up and agree for a change. Oh! And that creepy Slytherin is staring at me again! I finally figured out who he is. He's that guy who called Lily Evans a . . . a you know what.

Jerk

8:05 am:

Why must I constantly endure this torture! I'll bet you anything that someone up there is laughing their butt off about the fact that I have to deal with this crap and I'TS REALLY NOT FUNNY! Stupid universe with its stupid sense of humor. Bea and Eve still haven't shut up. I don't even know why they're friends. Actually, I do. They have the kind of friendship like a David Bowie song; when it's good, it's really good. But when it's bad, good lord, run for the hills! (I don't listen to much muggle music, but that David Bowie song, Let's Dance? Total cop-out.)

And that Slytherin won't stop staring!. Maybe he's trying to initiate a war. Well I'm up for the challenge! If it's a war he wants, it's a war he'll get. Good lord, just listen to me. I sound like a crazy bum. I'm just too sleep deprived. I need caffeine. Yeah. I nice cup of coffee.

Oh shoot. It's over by Remus. Okay. Be calm. Do not spontaneously trip with limbs flailing and poke him in the eye. Actually, do not spontaneously trip period. Okay. Step by step. Walk over to their side of the table. Oh great, it's Sirius Black. I swear, that boy was put on this earth to be my personal aggravation. Hold on. Why is he looking at me? And snickering. And leaning in to Remus to whisper something to him? Oh no you don-


	7. Chapter 7

September 4th 8:30 am:

Oh god. Why? Why did I just do that? Why am I such an idiot? Sirius obviously wasn't telling Remus about . . . you know. He was just being a jerk, for a change. And now I've gotten Sirius, Remus, James Potter, that weird child who always follows them around, and myself, a detention. The latter three weren't even involved. Oh god. Remus is going to hate me! I can now say that I am the girl who successfully got him his first detention. And he's a prefect! What am I going to do?

Okay. Calm down Fiona. It wasn't that bad. It really wasn't. You running and yelling, "AW HELL NO!" and knocking Sirius along with half the food on the table down wasn't that bad. And then getting McGonagall all angry and giving all the marauders and me a detention wasn't really that awful. And Elizabeth Perkins snickering with her friends wasn't completely humiliating.

Oh that's right. IT WAS. I can't believe I did that. Seriously, that's going down as the biggest fail, EVER. I'll never be able to show my face in public AGAIN. I'll have to go into hiding. Maybe I can be a hermit. Or a nun. I could go into hiding as a nun.

Oh god, now I'll never get to be with Remus. WE WERE GONNA HAVE BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN TOGETHER! Okay. I should just stop writing now. That was incredibly creepy. Incredibly. I'm never writing that again. At least it's only a week. One week. One week alone with Remus Lupin. Sigh.

Nope, no, don't go down that rode Fiona. You will not fantasize about Remus Lupin anymore. Oh god, why did you do this to me? Now I'll never be with my soul mate!

Ugh. What has happened to me? Since when did I become so emo and depressed? Even looking over my last few journal entries, even they don't have that usual charm and wit. I need a change and I need it fast.

Oh great. Here comes the dream team come to cheer me up. Just what I need. My two best friends who can barely work out the relationship between themselves as friends, have decided to help me with my love life.

Great. No Bea, I do not want to skip class. Oh. It's potions. I guess I could . . . NO! No! What is going on with me? What happened to quiet, timid, Fiona B Smith, the stickler for rules? I've never had a detention in my life! My mother's going to kill me.

Ok. I just need to calm down. As long as I can get through the day without dying/breaking randomly into heart wrenching sobs/begging Remus to forgive me/all of the above.

Ok. Potions. Fun. Yeah. GOD DAMMIT SLYTHERIN, STOP STARING AT ME!

9:30 am:

Good lord. Why didn't I cut class when I had the chance? It would've saved me a world of boredom. Plus there's a teaching assistant in this class and just my luck, it's that Slytherin seventh year creep. And he's still glaring at me. That child needs therapy. He's obviously very disturbed.

Okay, I cannot concentrate when he appears to be trying to burn a whole in my skull.

You know what? I'll just ignore him. I will ignore this very immature and unprofessional TA, and will turn my head away, hereby ignoring him.

Ha. Ha, ha, ha. I win.

Oh shoot, we're supposed to be pairing up for making the potion. Thank you Bea and Eve for pairing up and abandoning me. My friends everybody!

Oh god, I'm stuck with a Hufflepuff. I'm sorry, but this guy appears to be a moron. Hold on. Is that . . .? It is! Why is Amos Diggory, a seventh year, in a fifth year potions class?

So much for the incredibly amazing, intelligent, wonderful Amos Diggory. The same Amos Diggory who got held back twice in potions. Ha ha.

I shoot! He's looking at the journal. Go away snooping Hufflepuff.

Shoo!

Go!

Ugh. I think I'll just sleep 'till detention. Yeah. That sounds like a plan.

7:00 pm:

Well, that wasn't fun at all. The length of the day at Hogwarts is insane, and one day I intend to compose a formal letter of complaint.

Anyway, I'd best get going to detention. I don't want to get into even more trouble.

7:30 pm:

Oh god, this is so awful. Sirius keeps making suggestive comments about Remus and myself when he's not listening, James keeps glaring at me (it turns out I stopped him from going to quidditch practice) and that Peter Pettigrew kid just kind of stares. I'm kind of worried about him. He looks almost catatonic. Maybe I should call Madame Pomfrey?

Nah.

And Remus. Remus is . . . aloof. Okay, maybe not completely aloof per say, but he isn't talking a lot. He's just sort of doing the work. Which is what we're supposed to be doing, don't get me wrong but . . . I don't know. I just wish he would talk to me, is all. I think I'm gonna go over and talk to him. Apologize for this morning. Here I go.

9:00 pm:

Wow. That was so . . . nice. Just being able to talk. Without being super nervous and stuff. For once I was talking to Remus and I didn't feel like I was going to throw up. Here's our conversation;

Me: "Um Remus? Hi. Um, about this morning, I'm really-"

Remus: "It's fine. It was an accident. Really."

Me: "I know, but I feel really bad, especially with me staining your sweater, and then McGonagall assigning you detention, even with you being a prefect and all."

Remus: "Really, Fiona, it's fine, I promise. I just wanna know. Is Sirius bothering you?"

Me: "I'm sorry, what?"

Remus: "Is Sirius bothering you? I heard you this morning yelling for him not to tell me something. Is he blackmailing you? Because if he is, I can and will make him stop. Don't worry."

Me: "No, no, it's fine. Really. You don't have to talk to him. And nothing's going on. Nothing at all. I promise."

Remus: (looking skeptical) "Alright. If you say so. But Fiona, if you need anything, just know that I'm here. Just know that, um, you can confide in me. It'll be confidential. Just so you know."

Me: "Thanks Remus."

Remus: "Anytime. Oh, and how is the Transfiguration Theory working out for you?"

Me: "It's good. Really good actually. Thanks for all your help."

Remus: "No problem. And sorry that I had to run off that night. When it comes to acknowledging the fact that I have a social life outside of our group, the marauders don't really shine."

Me: "No, it's fine. Really."

Remus: "If you say so. We should probably get back to work. But hey, if you want to practice some more, we could meet up sometime or something."

Me: "Yeah sure. Sounds great."

And that's it. And I know that doesn't sound like much, but when you're talking to Remus Lupin, that's practically like War and Peace.

Yawn. I'm so tired. I feel like I'm coming down with something. Better get some sleep. Goodnight.

September 5 8:30:

Oh. My. Gosh. This has possibly been the most stressful morning ever. I CAN'T FIND MY JOURNAL! I know, I know, crazy, right? I had it last night, put it on my bedside table, and then when I woke up this morning, it was gone!

Ugh. I'm so upset I can barely write. What if someone stole it? There is super private stuff in there. Stuff I can't have people seeing. Oh shoot. McGonagall's coming over. She's already angry enough at me as it is from yesterday. I don't need another detention. Will write more later!


	8. Chapter 8

10:00 pm:

Ugh. This day was way too long. And I still haven't found that fu- um freaking journal. I'm going to bed. I'll try to write more in the morning.

September 25 9:00 am:

Okay. I get it. I realize I haven't written for nearly a month. It's just that . . . well I was busy! And there was nothing to write about. I still can't find my old journal (I'm just going to tell myself that some house elves threw it away. That's the best case scenario anyway) and my life really hasn't been that exciting. I promise. Nothing new has happened with Remus. Nothing new has happened with Sirius and Mel. It's so depressing. Maybe that's my problem. Maybe I'm depressed. Yeah. Anyway, you didn't really miss much. Remus sort of stopped tutoring me after I started understanding stuff again.

Even Sirius isn't talking to me anymore. He sits next to James in Transfiguration, so every class I must now sit with that weird homeless child who doesn't talk.

God, just looking over this is making me depressed. I have such a depressing life! Why? Why can't I be like Elizabeth Perkins? Why can't I have a cool accent, and perfect hair, and a perfect body, and a perfect tiny nose? Why?

Great. Mel has just come over and said that I should stop feeling sorry for myself due to the fact that today is a Hogsmeade day and she wants to go with me. Well I am sorry Melanie, but that is not happening. I think I'd like to wallow in my sorrow for a bit longer if you don't mind.

God, why won't she leave me alone? Mel! Go away! I already told you that I don't want to go out! Go bother Beatrice or Eve or something!

Finally. She left. Now it's just you and me buddy. What should we do today? Jeez, I'm pathetic. Maybe I could get started on my Potions essay. Hmmm. Yeah, I don't really want to do that. I'm so pathetic. I might not even mind Sirius talking to me if it just means I'd become less of a loser.

Maybe I should go to Hogsmeade. Oh. Mel's already left. That's alright. I can go by myself. It won't look stupid or anything. Yeah. Totally.

12:00 pm:

Well this is not fun. I spent , like, an hour looking for Mel, Eve and Beatrice, and they were nowhere to be found, I'm starving due to the fact that I forgot to eat breakfast this morning, and it's about 40 degrees out here to boot. Yay. Well, I need some food.

Let's see about my options. There's the Hogshead I guess, but that doesn't even count as an option due to the fact that there is no way I'm setting foot in that disgusting excuse for a restaurant. Not happening. I could go to that tea place, Madame Puddifoot's or whatever it's called. I got a nice scone there once. But then I have to look at all those couples being nauseatingly romantic, and it only makes me feel worse about myself. Ok.

I could go to the Three Broomsticks. That doesn't sound like a bad idea actually. It's warm in there, and I could get a butterbeer. Yeah. A nice warm butterbeer sounds really good right about now.

Ok. I'm going in. No matter how awkward it will be sitting all alone. While everyone else hangs out with their friends. Yeah. Okay. Here we go.

Wow this is awkward. It's even more awkward than I thought it would be. Which is pretty dam- um darn awkward.

Where should I even sit? There are some booths for two, but they're all taken. There's no way I'm just plopping down at a larger table, and if I sat at the bar, it would just look weird.

I think I should just leave. Yeah. Turning around and heading straight out the door sounds like a really good idea right now.

Oh god. Why is Elizabeth Perkins calling me over to sit with her? Elizabeth hates my guts. And vice versa. Why would she want to eat lunch with me?

2:00 pm:

That . . that . . . okay I'm just going to go ahead and say it. THAT BITCH! Who does she think she is? I can't believe she . . . I can't believe that she . . . let me start from the beginning.

Elizabeth: "Um, Fiona! Fiona! Could you come over here for a second?"

Me: "Um, okay." (walking over to her table) "What do you need?"

Elizabeth: "I was just hoping we could talk for a minute."

Me: "Okaaaay. What about?"

Elizabeth: "First of all, I feel so silly looking up at you. Sit, sit, please. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I know."

Me: "I beg your pardon? You know what?"

Elizabeth: "Don't play stupid with me. I know about your feelings for Remus."

Me: "What? How? I mean, what's going on? How did you-?"

Elizabeth: "Find out? It's kind of stupid to leave your diary just lying around your dorm room. Where anyone could see it. Or take it."

Me: "You? You're the one that took it? You . . . you . . . evil bad person. That's an invasion of privacy."

Elizabeth: Look, sweetheart, let's just cut to the chase. Either you never talk to Remus again, or I tell him all about your little secret. Understand?"

Me: "You can't do that. That's blackmail. Why do you care anyway?"

Elizabeth: "Because one day when Remus and I are together, I won't want some fifth year loser pining after him. Are we understood?"

Me: (silence.)

Elizabeth: "I'll take that as a yes. Now run along."

I just . . . I can't believe her! Now the barely sustained contact I had with Remus as it was is going to stop. Because I can't have him finding out about my crush on him. And she still has that journal. As proof. It's awful. Ugh. I can't even write any more I'm so upset.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Well, well, well. I guess we found out who took the journal. The question is, will Elizabeth tell Remus?


End file.
